100 Mechanic & Auto Shop Jokes, One-Liners, and Car Humor

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  1. I told my car I needed a break, now it won’t start.
  2. Why did the mechanic break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn’t his type.
  3. I tried to become a mechanic, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
  4. I went to the mechanic with a broken exhaust, and now I’m feeling a lot better.
  5. I told my mechanic I wanted a new sound system, so he added a new muffler.
  6. I didn’t trust the mechanic, so I kept my distance. He was a little shady.
  7. Why did the tire go to therapy? It had too many issues to handle.
  8. I got my car fixed, and now it’s running better than my relationship.
  9. My mechanic told me I needed to get my oil changed. I told him I’d rather change my life.
  10. Why don’t auto mechanics ever tell secrets? They always get leaked.
  11. I think my car has a lot of problems... but at least it doesn’t take up as much space as my ex.
  12. What did the car say to the mechanic? "I’m exhausted!"
  13. I had a flat tire yesterday, but at least it gave me some time to reflect.
  14. I asked the mechanic to fix my headlights, and now I see things clearly.
  15. I tried to fix my car myself, but it didn’t quite "tire" me out—until I had to call the mechanic.
  16. What do you call a mechanic who’s also a magician? A car wizard.
  17. My car is like a great comedian: it always knows how to "crack" up.
  18. The mechanic said I needed to “tighten up my brakes.” I told him I wasn’t that kind of guy.
  19. I’m thinking of opening a garage called "The Car Whisperer."
  20. The mechanic said my car was acting up... maybe it’s just going through a midlife crisis.
  21. I called the mechanic because my car was making a strange noise... turns out, it was just a "brake" in the action.
  22. Why did the mechanic bring a ladder to work? Because the job was above him!
  23. My car is like a rock band, always out of tune!
  24. Why did the auto mechanic become a therapist? Because he was good at fixing emotional breakdowns.
  25. I tried to change my oil, but it just "slipped" away from me.
  26. My mechanic has a lot of great advice—he's always steering me in the right direction.
  27. I went to the mechanic for a transmission problem... now I feel like I’m going places.
  28. I wanted my car to be more reliable, so I gave it a "tune-up."
  29. Why did the mechanic get in trouble? He was caught "braking" the law.
  30. I asked the mechanic if my car needed any repairs. He said, “It’s all "exhaust"ing work."
  31. I took my car to the shop for a new battery—now it’s fully charged.
  32. The mechanic told me my engine was running like a dream—now it’s just running!
  33. I tried to fix my car's AC, but it was too cool for me.
  34. My car has a tendency to take breaks at the worst times—like during rush hour.
  35. Why did the engine feel so good? It had finally been "revitalized."
  36. My car's headlights are so bright, they’re almost blinding... in the dark.
  37. I told the mechanic my car was making a funny noise, and he said it was just "exhausted" from all the work.
  38. What did one tire say to the other? "I’m "tire"d of you!"
  39. Why did the alternator start a fight with the battery? They had a "charged" conversation.
  40. Why was the mechanic always calm? He knew how to "brake" the tension.
  41. My car’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get... until the mechanic tells you.
  42. I tried to give my car a makeover, but now it looks "exhausted."
  43. Why did the mechanic fix the muffler? Because it was "silenced" by the situation.
  44. I went to a mechanic for a brake job—he really "stopped" me in my tracks.
  45. My car used to be slow, but now it’s "accelerated" its success.
  46. I think I have a tire problem. Every time I take a step, I "roll" with it.
  47. The mechanic said I need new brake pads. I guess I’ve been "sliding" by without them.
  48. I brought my car to the shop, and now it’s feeling a lot more "exhausted."
  49. Why was the spark plug so cheerful? It had finally "ignited" something great.
  50. Why don't cars tell jokes? Because they always "exhaust" themselves.
  51. I went to the mechanic, and he said, "Your car is in great shape—better than you are!"
  52. I used to trust my car, but now I think it's just "braking" my heart.
  53. Why do mechanics never lie? Because they know how to "fix" the truth.
  54. I told my car I’d take it to the mechanic if it kept making strange noises... and now it’s "exhausted"!
  55. I took my car to the mechanic for a tune-up, but now I think I need one too.
  56. My mechanic’s so good, he could "brake" the laws of physics.
  57. I asked the mechanic for a recommendation on oil, and he gave me a "slick" one.
  58. Why did the battery feel drained? It couldn’t keep its "charge" up.
  59. The mechanic said I needed to replace my timing belt. It was "about time."
  60. Why did the mechanic get in trouble? He was caught with his "hands under the hood."
  61. I tried to fix my car’s engine, but it just left me feeling "revved" up.
  62. Why do mechanics make terrible comedians? They always "break" the punchlines.
  63. I think my car's gone on strike—it needs a union for better breaks!
  64. I told the mechanic I had a transmission problem. He said, “I think you need a "shift" in perspective.”
  65. The car was having a nervous breakdown, but luckily the mechanic knew how to "fix" it.
  66. Why did the car go to therapy? It had a lot of emotional "baggage."
  67. I went to the mechanic for an oil change, and now my car’s "feeling slick."
  68. I took my car to the shop because the engine was smoking... but the mechanic told me it was just "exhaust" fumes.
  69. Why did the engine go to therapy? It was tired of always being "revved" up.
  70. I asked the mechanic if my car needed new brakes, and he said, “You’re just "stopping" for the wrong reasons.”
  71. The mechanic said my car had a suspension problem... maybe it’s "up in the air" about things.
  72. I wanted to upgrade my car’s sound system, but the mechanic said I should stick to fixing the "tone."
  73. I tried to fix my car’s engine, but it was "wrenching" my heart.
  74. Why was the mechanic so good at keeping secrets? Because he was always "tightening" things up.
  75. I asked my mechanic if my brakes were worn out. He said, "They’ve had a "rough" time lately."
  76. I told my car I was feeling down... it "jumped" at the chance to help me feel better!
  77. The mechanic said my car was too "exhausted" to go any further.
  78. I took my car to the shop and asked for a new muffler... now it’s "quiet" as a mouse!
  79. I went to the mechanic because my car was making a weird sound. It turned out it was just "exhausting" itself.
  80. The mechanic said my car had a "spark" that made it extra special.
  81. Why was the mechanic so good at their job? They always kept things "running smoothly."
  82. I wanted to get my car a makeover, but the mechanic said it was "exhausting" to do so.
  83. The car's "check engine" light came on, but I wasn’t worried—I just needed to get it "fixed."
  84. I went to a mechanic and asked if my car needed an oil change—he said it was "draining" me.
  85. Why did the car's battery get so mad? It was tired of being "charged" all the time.
  86. I asked my mechanic how long it would take to fix my transmission—he said, "It’s all in "gear" now!"
  87. I had to go to the mechanic because my car was "exhausted" from all the work.
  88. I had a problem with my car’s engine, but the mechanic gave me a "spark" of hope.
  89. Why did the engine have such a great sense of humor? Because it loved to "rev" things up.
  90. I asked my mechanic if my car needed new tires, and he said, "It's time to "roll" with it!"
  91. I took my car to the shop for an oil change... now it’s running as smooth as butter!
  92. I asked the mechanic to check my brakes—he said they were "stopping" by just fine.
  93. The mechanic said my tires were getting worn out, but I told him I wasn’t "tired" of them yet.
  94. I had a brake problem, but the mechanic said I needed to "stop" complaining!
  95. I asked the mechanic to check my car’s alignment, and now it’s finally "straight" with me.
  96. I tried to fix my exhaust, but it was just too "smoking" for me to handle.
  97. My car broke down on the highway, but luckily a mechanic was "on the road" to help.
  98. Why did the mechanic go on vacation? He needed to "unwind."
  99. I think my car needs some therapy—it has a lot of "baggage" in the trunk.
  100. The mechanic said my engine was running smoothly—now it’s "purring" with joy.

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