50 Hilarious Surrey Jokes and One-Liners

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  1. Why did the Surrey resident bring a ladder to Guildford Mall? To reach new heights in shopping!
  2. Surrey: where every second car wash is followed by rain.
  3. I tried to take a shortcut through Surrey Central, but the detours took me on a sightseeing tour of construction.
  4. Why do Surrey drivers love roundabouts? It gives them a chance to practice their turn signals.
  5. They say Surrey is a city of growth—especially the traffic on King George Boulevard.
  6. What's Surrey's favorite exercise? Dodge the potholes on 104 Avenue.
  7. Someone asked me for directions in Surrey, so I handed them a map and wished them luck.
  8. If you can survive rush hour on the Pattullo Bridge, you can survive anything.
  9. Surrey's official flower? The construction cone.
  10. How do you know you're in Surrey? The skytrain always seems to be running… late.
  11. Surrey has everything—except a parking spot when you need one.
  12. What's the most popular Surrey workout? The “run to catch your bus because it's already leaving” routine.
  13. Someone said Surrey was a quiet place. Clearly, they’ve never tried to sleep next to Scott Road SkyTrain station.
  14. I took my car to a mechanic in Surrey. He said the best way to improve it was to move closer to work.
  15. Surrey sidewalks are a test of agility, thanks to all the bikes and scooters sharing the space.
  16. My friend said he found peace and tranquility in Surrey. I said, “Let me guess, you moved to Crescent Beach.”
  17. How do you get a crowd in Surrey? Mention free parking at the mall.
  18. Surrey's motto should be, "Where the green lights are a suggestion."
  19. I told someone I lived in Newton, and they asked if that was near Surrey. I said, “It’s very near—it's in it!”
  20. Why did the chicken cross the road in Surrey? To avoid the traffic on 152 Street.
  21. Surrey has so many parks, it’s like nature is trying to make up for the traffic.
  22. They’re building new roads in Surrey every day. Too bad they’re just extensions of the detours.
  23. What's a Surrey resident's favorite game? Musical lanes on Highway 1.
  24. I went to a Surrey Tim Hortons and ordered a double-double. They asked if I wanted a side of road rage with that.
  25. In Surrey, you don’t measure time in hours—you measure it in how long it takes to cross King George.
  26. Surrey’s unofficial sport? SkyTrain station stair sprints.
  27. Someone told me Surrey's crime rate is improving. I said, “Sure, but what about the car alarms?”
  28. I love how Surrey embraces the outdoors… especially when the roads flood.
  29. Why don’t Surrey residents do yoga? Because navigating a Surrey crosswalk is all the stretching they need.
  30. I bought a GPS for driving in Surrey. It just says, "Good luck" and powers off.
  31. Surrey’s neighborhood names sound so fancy—until you realize they're just new developments with better marketing.
  32. My favorite Surrey landmark? The orange safety vests—they’re everywhere!
  33. What’s Surrey’s favorite music genre? Anything loud enough to drown out the construction noise.
  34. They say Surrey is the City of Parks, but it’s really the City of Parking Tickets.
  35. I went hiking in Surrey and found the perfect trail… right next to a construction zone.
  36. Surrey has great coffee shops, but good luck finding a table during school pickup hours.
  37. What's Surrey’s national bird? The Canada goose… sitting on the highway.
  38. I love Surrey’s nightlife—it starts at 7 PM and ends when the streetlights flicker.
  39. Someone asked if Surrey has a lot of bike lanes. I said, “Not really, but we have plenty of creative cyclists!”
  40. Surrey: where every freeway is under construction and every back road is a secret shortcut.
  41. They say you can judge a city by its skyline. Surrey’s is mostly cranes.
  42. I love how Surrey plans for the future. Too bad the detours are stuck in the past.
  43. Why do Surrey drivers never play hide-and-seek? Because they can’t hide their love for honking.
  44. They should make a survival guide for Surrey traffic. Step one: don’t panic.
  45. Surrey has a beautiful waterfront… if you can find parking before sunset.
  46. Every Surrey neighborhood has its own unique charm—and matching speed bumps.
  47. Why is Surrey so green? Because it rains just enough to ruin every weekend plan.
  48. What’s a Surrey resident’s favorite winter sport? Avoiding black ice on Fraser Highway.
  49. Surrey’s festivals are amazing! Too bad half the attendees are stuck in traffic trying to get there.
  50. Surrey has the best food trucks—parked conveniently next to the longest lineups.

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