100 Jokes and One-Liners about Ford.

1. Why did the Ford cross the road? To meet its service technician on the other side.
2. Ford stands for “Fix Or Repair Daily.”
3. Why do Fords have heated tailpipes? So the owner can warm their hands while pushing it in the winter.
4. How do you double the value of a Ford? Fill up the gas tank.
5. Why are Ford cars like a box of chocolates? You never know when they’re going to break down.
6. What do you call a Ford at the top of a hill? A miracle.
7. Why did the Ford owner buy a bicycle? To get to work on time.
8. What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
9. Why do Ford owners never buy a complete deck of playing cards? Because they keep throwing away the jokers.
10. Why don't Fords make good taxi cabs? They never get there on time.
11. How do you make a Ford go faster? Tell the tow truck driver to speed up.
12. Why did the Ford come with a heated rear bumper? To keep your hands warm while you're pushing it.
13. Why did the Ford factory close? They couldn’t keep up with the competition from the scrapyards.
14. What do you call a Ford with brakes? Customized.
15. Why don’t they ever make a Ford computer? It wouldn’t get past the beta testing.
16. Why did the Ford owner install a sunroof? So it could be used as a pizza oven in the summer.
17. What do you call a convertible Ford? A bed on wheels.
18. How do you make a Ford more aerodynamic? Drive it off a cliff.
19. Why do they put sidewalks beside Ford highways? So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
20. What’s the most reliable part of a Ford? The rearview mirror, because hindsight is always 20/20.
21. How do you play a Ford mix tape? On a tow truck’s radio.
22. Why do Ford drivers never carry a map? They’re not going anywhere anyway.
23. Why do Fords have big mirrors? To see all the other cars pass by.
24. Why don’t Fords sustain any damage in crashes? Because they never make it to the speed where they would crash.
25. What did the Ford say to the Corvette? “I’ll see you at the finish line – if I can make it.”
26. What’s the Ford owner's favorite rock band? The Rolling Stones, because their car’s always “rolling.”
27. Why are Ford's gas tanks always empty? The car uses all its fuel to reach the repair shop.
28. Why did the Ford driver go to college? To get a “degree” in automotive repair.
29. How do you keep a Ford from overheating? Turn off the engine.
30. Why do they put stripes on Fords? So they can blend in with the parking lot lines when they break down.
31. What do you call a Ford at the bottom of a hill? A start.
32. Why did the Ford have a surfboard on the roof? It was just another board on the roof rack.
33. Why did the Ford owner go to therapy? To talk about their “breakdown” experiences.
34. What do you get when you cross a Ford with a bicycle? Something that doesn’t work in two different ways.
35. Why did the scarecrow buy a Ford? It needed something to scare the birds away.
36. What did the Ford say to the mechanic? “I’m back!”
37. Why do Ford owners always smile? They have to keep a sense of humor to handle all the breakdowns.
38. Why don't Fords get stolen? Because thieves know they won’t get far.
39. What’s the difference between a Ford and a lawnmower? The lawnmower works in the yard.
40. How do you know if a Ford has been in your driveway? There’s a puddle of oil.
41. What is the Ford owner's favorite bird? The crane, because it lifts their car.
42. Why did the Ford driver have a big party? To celebrate making it to the end of the driveway.
43. Why did the Ford cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
44. What do you call a Ford with a seat belt? A waist of space.
45. Why did the Ford owner become a comedian? They already had a lot of practice with jokes.
46. What did the mechanic say to the Ford owner? “See you next week.”
47. Why do Ford owners buy dog food? To get more mileage out of their purchases.
48. What’s the difference between a Ford and a shopping cart? The shopping cart has a better wheel alignment.
49. Why do Ford owners make good hitchhikers? They’re used to standing by the side of the road.
50. How do you make a Ford more fuel efficient? Leave it at home.
51. What’s the most efficient part of a Ford? The driver.
52. Why did the Ford owner get a job at a repair shop? It was easier to fix their car on the job.
53. Why did the Ford owner need glasses? To see when their car broke down again.
54. Why do Fords come with instructions? To teach owners how to find the nearest repair shop.
55. Why did the Ford stop at the side of the road? To let all the other cars pass.
56. How can you tell if a Ford has been to the repair shop? It has a fresh coat of paint.
57. Why do Ford owners love sunsets? It means the day of repairs is finally over.
58. Why do Ford owners always carry a spare tire? They know they’ll need it.
59. What’s the best way to get a Ford to start? Use a different car.
60. Why did the Ford go to the hospital? It needed an “oil change.”
61. Why did the Ford owner go on vacation? To get away from the car.
62. Why did the Ford cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
63. What do you call a Ford on a tow truck? A match made in heaven.
64. Why do Ford owners hate summer? Their car overheats even more.
65. Why don’t Ford owners go camping? They already live in the wilderness – their car’s always breaking down there.
66. What did the Ford owner get for Christmas? A year’s supply of engine oil.
67. Why did the Ford owner take up jogging? They were used to running to the repair shop.
68. Why did the Ford owner buy a tent? To be prepared for the next breakdown.
69. Why don’t Fords race? They can’t handle the competition.
70. How do you start a Ford? Pray.
71. Why did the Ford owner join a gym? To get stronger for pushing the car.
72. What do you call a Ford with a flat tire? A speed bump.
73. Why do Ford owners like roller coasters? They remind them of their car’s performance.
74. What’s the Ford owner's favorite movie? “Gone in 60 Seconds” – if only their car could move that fast.
75. Why did the Ford owner call a taxi? Because their car wouldn’t start again.
76. What’s the Ford owner's favorite song? “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.”
77. Why did the Ford owner bring a camera? To take pictures when their car actually works.
78. Why did the Ford cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
79. How do you keep a Ford from being stolen? Don’t start it.
80. Why do Ford owners buy used parts? They’re cheaper than new ones and just as good.
81. Why do Fords have rearview mirrors? To see the mechanic waving goodbye.
82. What’s the best part of owning a Ford? The frequent flyer miles from the tow truck.
83. Why did the Ford owner start a blog? To document all the breakdowns.
84. Why did the Ford owner get a job? To pay for the repairs.
85. Why did the Ford owner need a calendar? To keep track of all the repair appointments.
86. Why did the Ford owner carry a flashlight? To see under the hood in the dark.
87. Why did the Ford owner go to the library? To read up on car repair.
88. Why did the Ford cross the freeway? To get to the tow truck on the other side.
89. Why do Ford owners love winter? It gives them a reason for the car not starting.
90. What’s the difference between a Ford and a vacuum cleaner? The vacuum cleaner doesn’t stop working when it’s full.
91. Why did the Ford owner install a trampoline? So they could jump start the car.
92. Why did the Ford cross the mountain? To get to the repair shop on the other side.
93. Why do Fords have wide tires? To cover up the speed bump signs.
94. Why do Ford owners love puzzles? It’s just like trying to figure out what’s wrong with their car.
95. Why did the Ford owner carry a toolbox? To be prepared for the inevitable breakdown.
96. Why did the Ford go to the amusement park? To ride the roller coaster and see how a real car performs.
97. Why did the Ford owner become a mechanic? To save money on repairs.
98. What do you call a Ford with a full tank of gas? A good start.
99. Why did the Ford owner need an umbrella? To keep dry while pushing the car.
100. Why did the Ford owner take up painting? To cover up all the scratches.
101. Why did the Ford owner become an artist? They already had experience with oil.
102. What’s the difference between a Ford and a blender? The blender works.
103. Why did the Ford owner buy a lottery ticket? To win money for a new car.
104. Why did the Ford owner go to the pet store? To buy a hamster for the wheel.
105. Why did the Ford cross the parking lot? To get to the tow truck on the other side.
106. Why did the Ford owner go to the bank? To take out a loan for repairs.
107. Why did the Ford owner carry a bucket? To collect the oil dripping from the car.
108. Why did the Ford owner go to the doctor? To get a prescription for the headache from all the breakdowns.
109. Why did the Ford owner take up yoga? To stay calm when the car breaks down.
110. Why did the Ford owner become a chef? They already knew how to cook up a story about their car’s reliability.
111. Why did the Ford owner buy a calendar? To keep track of all the repair dates.
112. Why did the Ford owner get a GPS? To find the way to the nearest repair shop.
113. Why did the Ford owner carry a backpack? To have snacks while waiting for the tow truck.
114. Why did the Ford owner buy a scooter? To get around when the car breaks down.
115. Why did the Ford owner get a camera? To document the breakdowns for the insurance claim.
116. Why did the Ford owner join a band? They were used to “tuning” things up.
117. Why did the Ford owner buy a hammock? To relax while waiting for repairs.
118. Why did the Ford owner become a pilot? They were tired of “ground” transportation.
119. Why did the Ford owner carry a first aid kit? To patch up the car and themselves.
120. Why did the Ford owner learn to sew? To fix the car seats.
121. Why did the Ford owner join a book club? To read while waiting for the car to be fixed.
122. Why did the Ford owner buy a chainsaw? To cut through the repair bills.
123. Why did the Ford owner get a pet turtle? It’s faster than their car.
124. Why did the Ford owner become a photographer? To capture the rare moments when the car works.
125. Why did the Ford owner buy an air mattress? To sleep comfortably while waiting for the tow truck.