75 Edmonton Jokes and One-Liners That Will Make You Laugh Your A** Off

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  1. Why did the Edmontonian bring a ladder to the Oilers game? To see the team raise their Stanley Cup hopes higher!
  2. Edmonton: where your eyelashes freeze before your coffee cools.
  3. Why don’t Edmonton drivers like to signal? They don’t want to ruin the mystery.
  4. I tried to tell an Edmonton winter joke, but it was too cold for a punchline.
  5. What’s Edmonton’s favorite exercise? Shoveling snow.
  6. Edmonton’s seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
  7. Why did the Edmontonian refuse to wear a scarf? They said, "It’s only -25°C; no big deal!"
  8. Living in Edmonton is like owning a snow globe—shaken every other day.
  9. Why did the raven fly over Edmonton in the winter? It didn’t want to walk on icy sidewalks either!
  10. They call Edmonton the City of Champions because we’re undefeated against frostbite.
  11. Edmonton: where it’s so flat, you can see your dog run away for three days.
  12. What’s an Edmontonian’s favorite type of pie? Pothole pie!
  13. The best way to describe Edmonton’s weather? A four-season buffet—sample all in one day.
  14. I entered a staring contest with the High Level Bridge. It won—still standing after all these years.
  15. Why did the snowman move to Edmonton? He heard the winters were perfect for a long life.
  16. Edmonton’s motto: “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes… and then regret it.”
  17. Why is Edmonton so windy? Because Calgary blows, and Fort McMurray sucks.
  18. Edmonton is so cold, the snowflakes wear coats.
  19. What do you call a fancy Edmonton mall? West Edmonton Bling.
  20. Why did the Oilers go to space? To find some stars.
  21. I asked Siri what the weather was like in Edmonton. She just laughed.
  22. Edmonton’s downtown is so quiet, tumbleweeds hold meetings there.
  23. Edmonton isn’t a city; it’s a survival course.
  24. What’s Edmonton’s official bird? The construction crane.
  25. Why did the Edmontonian buy a fridge? To store their ice-scrapers in summer.
  26. Edmonton winters are so long, even the sun needs a break.
  27. What do you call an Edmontonian who doesn’t complain about the cold? A tourist.
  28. The Edmontonian diet: coffee in winter, Slurpees in summer.
  29. Edmonton’s fireworks are the only things hot enough to melt the snow.
  30. Why did the Edmontonian keep a shovel in their trunk? In case summer surprised them.
  31. Edmonton: where you can BBQ in a blizzard and call it a normal day.
  32. The snow in Edmonton is like glitter—it gets everywhere and never really leaves.
  33. Why don’t Edmonton drivers need maps? The potholes guide them.
  34. Edmonton is so cold, even penguins ask for directions back to the zoo.
  35. If Edmonton were a game, it’d be Monopoly: endless construction and overpriced rent.
  36. Why did the Edmontonian bring a fan to the hockey game? They heard it might be a blowout.
  37. What’s Edmonton’s favorite song? “Ice, Ice Baby.”
  38. Edmonton’s streets are like its weather—full of unexpected turns.
  39. Why don’t they make Edmonton-themed snow globes? They’re too realistic.
  40. What’s an Edmontonian’s favorite soup? Frost-bite bisque.
  41. Edmonton is so flat, you can watch the sunset and sunrise from the same spot.
  42. Why did the skeleton move to Edmonton? It didn’t need any extra layers.
  43. Edmonton: where -15°C feels “mild.”
  44. The best way to save money in Edmonton? Invest in a snowblower.
  45. What’s the difference between Edmonton and Antarctica? At least Antarctica has penguins.
  46. Why did the Edmontonian bring skis to work? The forecast said “icy commute.”
  47. Edmonton summers are so short, the mosquitoes call them “power naps.”
  48. Edmonton: where even the squirrels wear parkas.
  49. Why do Edmonton drivers love winter? Free ice-skating lanes!
  50. Edmonton’s favorite winter sport? Car dodging on icy roads.
  51. What’s the official perfume of Edmonton? Eau de Ice Melt.
  52. Edmonton’s population grows every winter—because no one can move away until spring.
  53. Why do Edmonton kids get perfect attendance? They’re snowed in at school.
  54. Edmonton winters are so cold, the snow complains about the weather.
  55. Why do Edmonton fans bring string to hockey games? In case the Oilers need to tie the score.
  56. The only thing faster than Edmonton’s weather changes? A rabbit on Jasper Avenue.
  57. Edmonton: where your winter coat gets more compliments than your outfit.
  58. Edmonton’s potholes are so big, they have their own postal codes.
  59. Why did the goose leave Edmonton? It couldn’t take the honking competition.
  60. What do you call a sunny day in Edmonton? An illusion.
  61. Edmonton: where summer arrives unannounced and leaves without saying goodbye.
  62. Why did the Edmontonian pack a snowboard in July? For “just in case” weather.
  63. Edmonton: where hot coffee doubles as a hand warmer.
  64. The cold in Edmonton isn’t “chilly”—it’s character-building.
  65. Why don’t Edmonton cars need GPS? The potholes have mapped every street.
  66. Edmonton’s skyline is breathtaking—literally, when the wind hits.
  67. Why do Edmonton drivers love summer? Fewer excuses for late arrivals.
  68. Edmonton is so cold, even Santa vacations in Hawaii.
  69. What’s Edmonton’s favorite winter drink? Anything served indoors.
  70. Edmonton potholes are so famous, they get fan mail.
  71. Why did the polar bear refuse to move to Edmonton? It heard it was too cold.
  72. Edmonton: where the forecast always ends with, “…but dress in layers.”
  73. Why do Edmonton fans always carry lighters? To help spark some offense.
  74. Edmonton: where you can suntan and frostbite in the same afternoon.
  75. Why don’t Edmonton sidewalks get jealous? They know they’ll always be icy cool.

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